Funny African Proverbs

  1. Behavior of your relatives depends on your father’s wealth.
  2. The dance of a mad man in the market is only funny if he’s not your family member.
  3. The sun will shine first to those it finds outside.
  4. If your wife becomes too overbearing promote her to the position of first wife.
  5. The sign of a healthy marriage is a broken bed.
  6. When bad luck chooses you as a companion, even a ripe banana or pawpaw can remove your teeth.
  7. A hunter with only one arrow does not shoot aimlessly.
  8. Don’t pray for your enemies to die because you will bury all your relatives.
  9. Money is not everything, but everything requires money.
  10. No matter how big the buttocks are, they will never feel heavy to the owner.
  11. If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.
  12. The ways of a beggar are short and messy.
  13. If you never saw your mother in her youthful days, you might be tempted to think your father threw away the dowry.
  14. When air is ‘polluted’ ,the dirty man around is always held responsible.
  15. A secret is kept among three people if and if only 2 of them are dead.
  16. If you’re shy to ask, you might lose your way.
  17. The dance of a mad man in the market is only funny if he’s not your family member.
  18. The higher a baboon climbs a tree, the more the groin area is exposed.
  19. There are no shortcuts to the top of the palm tree.
  20. You are free to say money is not everything, when you have enough of it.
  21. If your only tool is a hammer, you will see every problem as a nail.
  22. The best meat parts belong to the hunter, the hunting dog consoles itself with hoofs.
  23. No person is born great – great people become great when others are sleeping.
  24. Those who end up accomplishing great things pay attention to little ones.
  25. It’s better to cry inside a car than on a bicycle.
  26. Don’t follow a person who’s running away.
  27. When brothers fight to the death, a stranger inherits their father’s estate.
  28. Sticks in a bundle are unbreakable.
  29. A chicken can never vote for an early Christmas.
  30. A woman is a flower in a garden; her husband is the fence around it.
  31. A mother cannot give birth to something bigger than herself.
  32. It is better to live as a lion for one day rather than 100 years as a sheep.
  33. A wise man never takes a step too long for his leg.
  34. A fool cannot untie the knot tied by a wise man.
  35. People will only investigate the source of your wealth but will never investigate the source of your poverty.
  36. Do not call a dog with a whip in your hand.
  37. A roaring lion kills no game.
  38. Only a fool tests the depth of a river with no feet.
  39. If you want to know the end, look at the beginning.
  40. Seeing is different than being told.
  41. No matter how far you urinate, the last drop always falls at your feet.
  42. A person who sells eggs should not start a fight in the market.
  43. A child can play with its mother’s breasts, but not its father’s testicles.
  44. No matter how far an eagle flies up the sky ,it will definitely come down to look for food.
  45. A monkey that eats grass instead of banana is a goat.
  46. A mango does not fall far from the tree.
  47. It’s better to fall from a tree and a break your back than to fall in love and break your heart.
  48. A goat’s frown cannot stop it from being taken to the market.
  49. A flea can trouble a lion more than a lion can trouble a flea.
  50. No matter how hot your anger may be, It cannot cook beans.
  51. Don’t mistake a short man for a boy.
  52. Girls are like mangoes, while you are waiting for them to be ripe, others are eating them raw.
  53. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers.
  54. You cannot convince a monkey that honey is sweeter than a banana.
  55. It requires a lot of carefulness to kill the fly that perches on the scrotum.
  56. When a girl has beauty without Brains, the Private parts suffer the most.
  57. When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
  58. You cannot run and scratch your anus at the same time.
  59. Before You go out with a widow, you must first ask her what killed the husband.
  60. A man who drives his father’s car is not entitled to speak in a council of men who own bicycles.
  61. There’s no virgin in a maternity ward.
  62. If A Man Wants To Grow A Long Tooth, He Should Have The Lip To Cover it
  63. No matter how the buttock hurries, she will always remain behind.
  64. Men would not tell lies if women asked fewer questions.
  65. Shit will smell, no matter how small.
  66. A man who hangs around a beautiful girl without saying a word ends up fetching water at her wedding.
  67. Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
  68. One who eats alone cannot discuss the taste of the food with others.
  69. Even the best cooking pot will not produce food.
  70. You will never know how brilliant or foolish you’re today, until 10 years from today.
  71. If you think you are too small to make a difference, you have not spent the night with one mosquito.
  72. If men swear that they want to harm you when you are asleep, you can go to sleep. If a woman says the same stay awake.
  73. Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.
  74. You are also a donkey If a donkey kicks you and you kickback.
  75. Without fools there would be no wisdom.
  76. The little opportunity given to a monkey to wear cloths does not guarantee it to join the dinning table.
  77. The monkey who tries to see the hunter clearly collects bullets in its eyes
  78. Snails don’t venture where horned animals gather.
  79. When the shepherd comes home in peace, the milk is sweet. 
  80. If the sun claims superiority over the moon, let it shine at night.
  81. Since all lizards lie on their bellies, one can hardly tell which has stomach ache.
  82. He who swallows a complete coconut have absolute trust in his anus.
  83. He who sleeps with itchy anus must wake up with smelly fingers.
  84. Don’t count your money until the deal is done.
  85. A husband with a gorgeous looking lady has no any difference with that farmer whose corn grow at the roadside.
  86. There is no need for a man to destroy all beehives just because of a sting from a bee.
  87. You don’t expect to find a virgin woman in a maternity ward.
  88. The frowning face of a goat cannot stop its owner to take it to the market.
  89. A widow is the only woman who knows where her man is every night.
  90. It is better to walk than curse the road.
  91. To be without a friend is to be poor indeed.
  92. The household that pounds yam aloud thinks the silent ones don’t eat.